I’m not paying for it…

               There are three things in life I’ve vowed to never pay for and that’s oxygen, bottled water, and pussy! Yea yea yea I’ve heard it before…”oh you’re going pay for it in some form or fashion.” The hell I am! Oxygen will forever be free if these fools save the damn trees! I’ll be damn if I pay for bottle water when I can fill up a bottle with faucet water and throw it in the refrigerator until it gets cold.  That isn’t cheap, that’s being frugal and smart.  That dollar a bottle adds up.  Last but not least I refuse to pay for nature’s most abundant resource………PUSSY!!!

               When it comes to the topic of who should pay and what you’re paying for, I can honestly say I’ve heard it all.  I’ve even witnessed women posting on twitter things along the line of “if you give him the pussy for free you’re a hoe.” That statement was quite confusing to me at first glance.  I was brought up thinking the complete opposite. *Shrugs* well it is 2011 and shit just isn’t like it was when our parents where in their respective primes.  What they mean by that statement though is if you don’t get a meal, a bill paid, or even a damn simple date you’re a hoe for fucking him for free.  Shiiiiiiiit, of course you know I disagree.  She might not want anything but the dingaling so why waste her time going out on a date with him if she really doesn’t like him.  Surprised??? Women are just as bad as men these days.  For some men and women it’s all about the physical and to hell with the mental and spiritual.  They may have somebody else for that.  As my LB (line brother) would say, “you should have a well stocked tool belt.”  It’s having a variety, options, having a different person to fulfill each individual need when you’re not exclusive with someone.  Anyway, I’ve also heard there is no way you’d get the butt cheeks without paying for something.  Your either going to go on a date, spend some gas money, pick up some juice from the store, or something.  Again, I say shiiiiiiiiit! Example, I get in the club free before 11, meet a female, she already tipsy and one more drink will have her calling Earl so you don’t have to buy her any drinks.  When meeting a female out you should be ABCD (always be closing the deal). So you two are chopping it up for a bit, not too long and not too short (the mini skirt). Club is about to close, your conversation is so intriguing you both want to continue it….THAT night!  So being the grownups that you are, y’all go back to your place.  It’s after 2a.m. so there isn’t really much more talking to do so you guys have sex, afterwards she gets dressed to go back home to her boyfriend pick up her child from the baby sitters. You haven’t spent not one penny on this woman.  Pretty easy and simple huh? Believe me….it happens all the time! You can call her a hoe all you want but hot damnit you’re not about to tell me it’s impossible to get them butt cheeks without paying for it.

               You tricking niggas dudes aren’t any good either.  I’ve never understood why you’d pay a woman to have sex with you.  Those old school playas like to say “you don’t pay her to fuck you, you pay her to leave.”  Bullshit! You just paid for them butt cheeks.  Nigga I studied The Mack, Max Julien use to be my idle! I know how the game goes.  With this outrageous woman to man ratio, you want to go out here and pay for it?  Ole lazy asses!  Hey it’s your money.  Do as you please with it.  I just know I’m not paying a woman to do something I can get another woman to do for free.  I share the same sentiments with strip clubs as well.  You won’t find me in one unless its King Of Diamonds.  If you ever been there before you’d understand why I’d break my “no strip club” rule.

              Fellas, ever had a chic say you guys should go out to eat one day, you agree to it, she sets it up, and you end up paying? Bullshit right?  My philosophy is, you ask me then you pay but if I ask you then I’ll gladly pay.  Hell if it’s just a random encounter we can go dutch.  The majority of the time I don’t mind paying and will pay no matter who asked who but you get my point.  When I go on dates that I asked for and she reaches in her purse to pay, it turns me on to the point where I will absolutely refuse to let her pay.  I like the fact that she isn’t an extreme “traditionalist” and expects the guy to pay for EVERYTHING!!! I’m a strong believer in men courting their women but I also know society has evolved since the early 70’s and these “Independent” women should be able to show if things got tough they’d be able to hold the family down.

               You know I cant leave you guys without sharing one of my own personal past experiences.  Hell it its called “Chronicles.” I was seeing this woman and one random week night she wanted to see me before I went to work.  We had a date schedule for that weekend coming but she said she didn’t want to wait. I told her I didn’t feel like coming out because I was resting and we’d get together at our scheduled time.  She wanted to see me that night and then again on the weekend. She was trying to break my “you get one day out of the week” rule.  So of course being the nice guy that I am, I agreed to it and asked her where she wanted to meet.  We get to the spot start talking and what not then she proceeds to order a couple of drinks.  Me, I don’t order a thing.  I didn’t even get complimentary water with a lemon.  So I’m sitting there not really wanting to be there nor am I being a party pooper.  It’s starting to get late and close to time for me to go into work.  The waiter comes over and asks are we ok, do we need anything, and all the other stuff they try to do to ensure a tip.  She tells the waiter that we are fine and we are about to go because of course I have to be at work in a few.  The waiter leaves and comes back with the check.  She lays it on the table and actually stands there waiting on it to be paid for which isn’t normal but oh well.  My lady friend looks up at me with the “ah aren’t you about to pay for this” look on her face.  I give her a blank stare with “The Rock” raised eyebrow and said, “I didn’t order that!” Mannnnnnnn if you could see the look on her and the waiters face…it was priceless!  Long story short, if you ask me out be prepared to fork up the cost on that bill.  Needless to say I haven’t seen that female since.  She probably thinks I’m some cheap no good nigga but that’s ok.  That’s what she gets for assuming.

               It’s crazy how who pays for what, when, and why nowadays has become a major issue.  Things use to be so simple back in the day…well from what I’ve been told.  I don’t know about you but if I can get it for free you best believe I’m a do everything possible to avoid paying for it.  Call me what you want but you can’t call me no sucker!