Call me out my name one more time…
Aight hot damnit! I’m a go ahead and forewarn you now, this isn’t your average post. Hear me out for a minute because I really want to know your opinion on this shit. Hell I don’t even know where to start so I’m a just jump in head first as I always do ;-).
I’ve been called been called many things in my lifetime both good and bad. My skin has gotten pretty thick over the years. I’m pretty comfortable saying I’ve heard every black joke in the book, hell I came up with most of them. I’ve been called an asshole, a prude, stuck up(dont know where they got that one from but… *shrugs*), arrogant, cocky, a pretty boy, and worst of all a fucking metrosexual. Now this metrosexual term here has been thrown around at me a little too loosely. The first time I heard the term metrosexual was about 5 years back and I had absolutely no idea what the fuck where talking about. For all I knew if you weren’t heterosexual you where homosexual. Yea yea I know…my ignorance but I automatically took offense to it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no homophobe but I know what I AM NOT! I’m very comfortable with my sexuality but what I will tolerate is being judged by an irrational thinker.
So last week I was having a conversation with this individual about being well groomed. She proceeds to say any male that shaves his pubic hairs is questionable. Hmmmm, so I sit back for a minute and ask myself is this chick serious? Of course I’m curious to know why she feels this way so I ask her to explain how she came to that conclusion. I promise you would not believe what this chick told me. She said, “my Dad and Grandad never shaved so I feel no man should shave his pubic hairs. Its unmanly.” *Shaking my head* This
bitch chick is abso-fucking-lutely clueless. Still in a calm manner I tell her that I disagree with that because I groom myself on the regular and I’m far from questional. Check my DR. This bitch chick screwed her face up at me and had the nerve to call me a damn metrosexual because I shave and she said I dress too nice. WTF? I’m not livid but I’m highly annoyed at this chicks ignorance. Any active male should groom his self regularly. Ever wondered why your arms where so musty after a hard sweaty workout? Cut them damn pubic hairs. Every took your tights off after a long hard sweaty workout and that funk rose up and slap the shit out of your nose? Shave your shit! Hair + Sweat = one stanking ass individual! Its basic hygiene…DUH!!! Dumb Bitch! Of course she still disagrees and stands on top of her previous statement following that up with saying, “she could never date a metrosexual.” I just shake my head and end the conversation because I will no longer entertain a conversation with this delusional individual. If this chick likes dudes with musty love spuds then thats her prerogative but I know who won’t be touching that chick with a fifteen foot latex wrapped heavily sanitized pole….ME!
Insecure dudes are just as bad. First let me put this out there. For those of you who don’t know me, I was in the modeling industry for a few years. Enjoyed it while it lasted but at the end of the day it just wasn’t for me. The fashion industry is ran by 90% Gays and Jews. It’s a “what are you willing to do for me” type of industry. Well at least thats what I witnessed. Quite frankly I’m not about to do shit that goes against my morals so eventually I quit that industry. You’re not about to feel my booty hole just so I can get some print work published! Shiiiiiiiiit….the fuck I look like? Not saying that all male models sell their souls to make it but more do than not. Anyway, I ended up leaving the industry and pursued a new career….Boxing! I love that shit, its just something about competing one on one with another man to see who is the superior of the two. I’ve been playing contact sports all of my life so I couldn’t turn to nothing less. I’m a pretty active athlete so I also play 9man contact flag football during my free time. Its pretty much the same thing as 11man football minus the equiptment and two players. The ultimate goal is still the same as regular football but flags are involved. You have an offensive line, defensive line, linebackers, running backs, defensive back, and wide recievers.
A lot of the players like to give me flack about my modeling career. I dont mind it at all because my teammates know the deal. They know I’m the most tenacious and aggressive guy on the team despite my previous career background. They crack the jokes for cheap thrills. Hell I even laugh at some of the jokes. If the shits funny I’m going to laugh no matter who is at the butt end of it. One thing I learned is the easiest way to kill a joke is to laugh just as hard as the person who delivered the joke. Try it once and watch their response.
The league I play in is pretty damn competitive. Hell we are men so what do you expect. Trash talking is inevitable. Its going to happen! I don’t mind it. Most of the time I initiate it. Between the whistles guys with the other uniforms on aren’t my friends so fuck’em! I’ll say whatever to cut them deep, frustrate them and to get them to loose focus on the game. I’m a pretty damn good trash talker if I may say so myself. Well with my modeling background I get a lot of gay jokes. Of course they know I’m not gay yet they will say anything to try to get under my skin. I stay on my toes (no pun) so whatever you dish out be prepared to get back. Well during a very heated rivalry game once a guy yells out to me “take yo soft ass off the field and get back on the damn runway.” Me being the witty guy that I am responded to him saying, “yea I use to model and I box too. So with that being said I can rip the runway and then turn around and whip yo ass with my hard bottoms still on.” Needless to say I’ve had no more problems out of that guy or any of his teammates and we still won that damn game and I talked cash shit the whole game with my hair in a ponytail. Of course this was when I had dreads.
I take pride in my appearance and will continue to until the day I die. I can tolerate the name calling and backlash I’ll receive from it but guess what……..I dont give a shit. The women like it! So say what you want homie because I’m a look good either way it goes and I’m far from being metrosexual.
Be Easy *chucks up the deuce and walks smooth off stage*
- Drake has a new mixtape out. Check that joint out. Call him soft all you want because of all of his singing but that cat got talent. Fuck it, if its not broke dont fix it.
- If you can’t control your daily erections dont wear sweat pants with no drawls!
- I will end any conversation with any woman that calls me bruh. I’m talking to a woman and not my home boy.
- A woman that says nigga more than me <<<<
- Looking to try a new wine? I recommend Carolina Red Sweet Muscadime
You can find me on twitter acting reckless @jus_ryan3