Monogamy……… is it Possible?


I firmly believe that monogamy is a difficult challenge that most humans fail at because it goes against human nature. Let’s face it most people aren’t capable of being with one person for the rest of their lives. Yet we consistently walk down the aisle knowing that infidelity is inevitable for most. Furthermore, being faithful requires hard work, honesty, selflessness and integrity. All of which are attributes that most humans refuse to hold in proper regard.

Since monogamy seems farfetched, what in the world possessed me to take on such a challenge you may ask. My quest to be monogamous is driven by a few factors. The first would be I have seen women that I care deeply about be betrayed by acts of infidelity and it’s hard to stomach. I would never want to put a woman that I love and exchanged vows with through that. Secondly I like the fact that quality women can vouch for me, and whole heartedly know that I’m different from most. Last but not least I like taking on the impossible.

What could be more impossible than being with one woman for the rest of my life and never cheating from an emotional or physical standpoint? Believe it or not I’m fairly confident that I will never cheat on a physical level. I have been in two serious relationships and never even came close to cheating physically. Granted being in a serious relationship doesn’t equate to the ball and chain that can be a nagging wife who says pay all the bills, help raise the kids, cook sometimes, and when I’m mad at you sleep your @$$ on the couch. However my track record has given me confidence that I’m more than capable of avoiding the philandering that so many fall victim to. Sans a few nights when I’m gone off the Hennessy I’m able to keep my smaller head in check. Even when I’m gone off the Hennessy if I’m single the most I might do is send a flirtatious text message.

So let’s move on to what will be somewhat of a challenge for me. Escaping emotional cheating will be far more challenging for me than avoiding physical cheating. The only reason I can see this as a potential possibility is because I love to talk. Deep or interesting conversations are how I like to unwind after a long day. Conversation is very important to me. If she can discuss politics, sports, hip hop, make me laugh, and she’s cute, we can get married today and become the new Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee. I often pontificate about the possibility of being married or being deeply involved with a woman who goes from being very interesting to somewhat mundane and predictable. Should the stated scenario take place in just a relationship and not a marriage, I could just walk away, but what if I’m married? Walking away because my wife has become boring simply wouldn’t be an option.

Suddenly the women who I paid no mind to from a conversational perspective in the break room could possibly creep onto my emotional radar. Now when they engage in witty banter about sports and politics I might find myself listening closer and potentially contributing to the interesting conversations, since my intellectual fix isn’t being provided in my relationship. Of course I would still try to avoid emotional cheating and work on things with my woman, but what would happen if she simply refuses to reemerge as her once interesting self. If she never cheated on me, it would be impossible for me to justify leaving. So would my need to engage in intellectual conversations from time to time just dissipate in order to save my relationship or would I consider having consistent deep conversations with a woman other than the woman that I’m committed to. This I don’t know the answer too, but I would whole heartedly like to avoid it.

Holla at your boy on twitter @QuiseNation

Keep Her or Sweep Her

Keep Her:

  • If she talks reckless but behaves responsibly
  • If she’s truly committed to becoming a better person beyond just showing up to Church on Sundays
  • If she’s genuinely happy that the NBA Lockout is over
  • If she understands the underlying message of Wale’s Chain Music song

Sweep Her:

  • If she thought Herman Cain’s 9,9,9 tax plan would work
  • If she resides in Charlotte but doesn’t know who Cam Newton is
  • If she says she hates rappers who preach
  • If she called any of the following Common singles wack: Ghetto Dreams, Blue Sky, Sweet
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