You Must Got Me F’d Up!


photo001I don’t even know how to begin with this one.  After reading this I need some loud and two to seven shots of Tennessee Whiskey!  Take two minutes out of your day to read this article from askkissy.com Dumb Negro News  Yes you read that right.  He found out by the DOCTOR that his WIFE was 4 months pregnant by another man.  Yes, I said his wife! Yes, I said pregnant by another man.  Yes, this was AFTER their honeymoon! Man listen… check this shit out… what in all out doors… man I can’t comprehend it.  It would definitely be some furniture moving in this mutha f@#$a *Bernie Mac* voice when we got home and I ain’t talking about no future episodes of Snapped either.  I’m talking about her and all her belongings got to be gone ON TODAY!!!!

For me there are two things that’s an absolute deal breaker and no coming back from.  I’d prefer that my significant other didn’t have sex with another man but if she does PLEASE use a condom.  IF you let another man free skeet in you with no regards for possible outcomes and consequences, you’re the epitome of a savage and I can no longer be affiliated with such sorcery, you evil ass witch!  If y’all smashed, alright everybody makes mistakes.  Maybe we can work through it…  and maybe I have a condo in the Bermuda Triangle  that overlooks Monte Carlo.  Fact of the matter is there is no coming back from getting skeeted in, THAT’S RAW SEX with my sweet nectar.  Don’t tell me he pulled out either!  Where he nut at? On your butt?  Hell no, I’m sure it was on the same place you use to greet me with a kiss and tell me goodbye!

Absolute deal breaker number two is giving another man oral.  I’m not sure why I even have to explain the magnitude of disrespect in this here action.  Ladies listen, when I tell you this will crush a man’s soul…  Sucking another man off… Mannnnnnnnn Somebody got to feel this Stone Cold Stunner.  There is absolutely no coming back from that.  You just took your lips off another man’s dingaling and turned around and kissed your significant other or was on the gram or snapchat a few hours later popping off with your man like everything biscuits and gravy! Nah fam, you gotta catch this L!

Before you women start with this “but men do…” Image result for the rock and hulk hogan

Shut up! We ain’t talking about that right now!

End of the day there is absolutely no way I can remain in a marriage that starts out like that.  Not much to really talk.  If I made the commitment to refrain from sex til marriage to share that special moment with you and you go get pregnant on me… I gotta call Ray Donovan and have this situation handled after that first life insurance payment kicks in.   She knew what type of guy she was dealing which leads me to believe that she wasn’t scared to tell him but was waiting on the right moment to trap him.  This is called How To Trap A Sucka 301.  I’m not sure if he stayed or not but I got a feeling he did.  I also have a feeling that this is some shit Russell Wilson would do even though he hasn’t been on record of doing anything of such.  Then again is it his fault for making her wait?!?!  You guys tell me what you think.

 

Signed,

A negro who would give everybody the Diamond Dallas Page Diamond Cutter if it happened to him.  Jus_Ryan3

 

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