Stepping out of the box…


            Seems like the new trend now days is to pick a fruit from another basket.  Well at least that’s what folks are claiming they are going to start doing.  I’m starting to see it more and more everyday though and folks are becoming more and more acceptable to it.  Obama said a change is coming but Sir I’m comfortable going with what I know and what I know is black women!  I’m not against dating outside of my race because I’ve dabbled in the clear water a time or two in my twenty something years of life but I like my women like I like my tan…….DARK.

            One sleepless night after work I decided to pop in a movie.  My random selection that night happened to be Something New starring fine ass Sanaa Lathan.  If you haven’t seen this movie I highly recommend you check it out.  It’s a chick flick but I’m not against them.  Hell one of my favorite movies “Made of Honor” is a chick flick but that’s another story for another day.  Something New is about a young, black, single, prude, successful accountant who finds love in an unexpected place with a free-spirited landscaper who just happens to be white.  The movie focuses on interracial relationships and traditional African American family values and social customs.  To me it seemed her biggest issue wasn’t how she felt about him, it was how everybody else felt about them being together.  Her friends where all for it though.  Of course they where independent black women who felt every black man on this great earth weren’t worth two pieces of burnt rice in the middle of a cow pasture.  Her family wasn’t as acceptable of the thought of her dating a white man as her friends were though.

            The point is the reason why I feel a lot of people are afraid to date outside of their race is because of public perception.  They are always concerned with what the other man/woman thinks.  Why?  I have no earthly idea.  Well actually I do because I’ve experienced this before.  Nobody really likes being the odd ball but sometimes different is better.  Whatever makes you happy go with it and don’t look back.  From personal experience I can say it’s a little awkward and uncomfortable at first.  I’ve been out with a white woman before and noticed I was stared at quite a bit.  Some but NOT ALL black women had that “how did she get him look” like I must have bad credit or she’s a walk over or something, some of the other interracial couples would smile and give a nod like we were in some secret fraternity, and others would just look out of pure confusion.  I must say I didn’t like that at all.  It feels like I’m being judged and I only feel there is only one man worthy enough of judging me and that’s the big homie upstairs.

            I remember when I use to say the only way I’d be seen out in public with a white woman was if she looks better than 95% of the black women I knew. How naïve I was because good lawd I know some fine ass African American women so that pretty much meant I’d never go out on a date with a white woman.  Yea, well that’s what I said.  Of course that changed. I remember the first white female I dated in High School; I brought her one of my basketball games.  When we walked into that gym together you would have thought I broke a cardinal rule or something.  Folks got quite and started whispering under their breath.  Hell it was a first for me so of course I felt like I made the biggest mistake of my HS years.  Turns out some folks admired my temerity to walk into the “all black section with a white woman.”  It was the first but it definitely wasn’t the last time I hung out with a female of another race in public.

            I have this thing with introducing female friends to my parents, especially my mother.  I just can’t bring anybody back to Mom Dukes house.  Most just aren’t worthy and I know from day one whether or not they will be around long enough to get that privilege.  Plus my Mom’s isn’t a spring chicken anymore and I don’t want her mixing no names up. 

You know old folks will say damn near anything?  They feel like just because they got some years on this earth they have the right to be complete assholes at times.  Man how bout once I took a chick I was dating over my grandmother’s house and she had the audacity to tell my date “you’re not the cutest but you’re a sweet girl.”  Talking about embarrassed!  I think I was more embarrassed than my date was.  How could I justify that to her?  All I could do was shake my head and my grandmother didn’t get the urge to make any more comments. 

Anyway, I was seeing the white woman on the regular once.  She was real cool people.  I invited her to a fight party with me, we went out to eat a few times, checked out some basketball games, and done quite a few more things out in public.  By this time I had gotten use to the stares and actually started to ignore them.  I can honestly say I liked this female.  Not enough to bring her home to my mother but enough to feel comfortable being seen out in public with her.  Yea yea I know you’re probably asking how I can not be comfortable being out in public with her but be perfectly fine knocking her down on the regular. Hey, what you want me to say? Shit happens like that sometimes.  Back to the topic at hand, she had came up to visit once because we were about to go out to and and check out a movie.  Well while I was getting dressed my parents called me because they were in the area and was stopping by.  I’m thinking shit “my Mama coming up here and I got this white chick all comfortable up in my house!” It’s not like I’m about to tell my mom’s she can’t come up.  I had to eat this one.  So my mom’s knocks on the door and I let her in.  I’m light weight nervous because I have no earthly idea how she is going to respond seeing this white girl in my apartment.  Well we get to the living area where my friend is sitting, my mom’s comes around the corner and pause for a slight second with a slightly surprised look on her face but without missing a beat she proceeds to introduce herself before I even got a word out.  Mom’s was so welcoming to her, it was ridiculous.  It actually made me feel a lot better though.  If Mom Dukes was cool with it then it really didn’t matter what the hell anybody else had to say about it.  It’s always better having that approval from your loved ones.  I didn’t need it but it was good to have.

 How did the white lady and I turn out?  Oh and for the record if you’re not black your either white, Hispanic, or Indian.  But she ended up moving back to her native country because she missed her family and she never got the opportunity to  meet my Mom’s again.  Did she have potential?  Yep quite a bit but that’s all water under the bridge now.

            I don’t knock interracial dating, hell I recommend at least trying it once.  I tell you what; if I ever get my hands on a STD free Brazilian it’s a wrap!  The world is evolving and we as a society have to learn how to evolve with it.  Before you go checkout http://www.afieldnegro.com/ and click on photos.  Put a soft pillow under your chin because it’s definitely going to drop!  Don’t be afraid to step outside of your box.  Be open to change.  Want some new results in your dating life? Do things differently outside of your norm.  Me? I’m sticking with my dark skin beauties.  I want ole black dark chocolate coming out the womb rocking natural babies but don’t let that stop you from having a mixed breed.

Quick Hits

  • The Game – Red Album is probably the most underrated album of this year.  Too bad he’s not being marketed like he should be.  Once more Album and he’s a free man from 50 Cent.
  • About a month ago everybody was yelling its cuffing season yet everyone is still single.  What I miss?
  • Who cares about the NBA Lockout?  It’s still football season and college basketball is more entertaining anyway.
  • I had the opportunity to go see the Watch the Throne concert.  I highly recommend you get tickets to a showing near you.  Kanye is a pretty damn good performer.  Jay Z is Jay Z, his two step is too cool for me.
  • Herman Cain, sit yo Uncle Ruckus ass down.  You’re just the republican’s token black guy and these white women…nevermind.
  • Joe Paterno, what I way to go homie.  You know the rules, follow them.  You’re just as guilty my man.  I still wouldn’t recommend jail time though.  He’s been humiliated publicly and 84 years old.  His heart wouldn’t hold up in prison.  Just ban him from watching any football for the rest of his life.
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